Brush with the veil-personal story

After returning  home from a two year mission to the Germany Hamburg mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I moved with my young bride to Logan, Utah to attend Utah State University. One great blessing I enjoyed was living so close to my maternal grandparents, Grandma and Grandpa Frazier. They lived with my uncle in Hyde Park, just a few miles north. I had always loved visiting them as a child. Now, as an adult I was able to see them regularly and grew even closer. Grandpa had suffered a stroke leaving one side weakened, control of his hand limited. I don’t know if I have ever seen anyone with greater determination. He worked and struggled for hours to regain enough fine motor control of his hands and fingers to the point of being able to take up a favorite hobby: tying fishing flies.  He tied beautiful flies and sold them to the corner gas station for a few extra dollars of spending money. I don’t know how much that gas station guy made from selling grandpa’s flies, but they sold quickly as soon as he put them out. I wish I had some of those flies now. Grandpa crossed the veil on April 27, 1983 at the age of 76. He had lived a humble, yet rich and full life. Mom told me he was mean and drank and smoked as a young man. Then one day grandma put her foot down. She told him if he didn’t quit smoking and take her to the temple she was leaving. He quit from one day to the next. Determination.  The grandpa I knew was a man of faith, nothing like the stories mom told of his younger, wild days, like the time he got into trouble for riding his horse into the church dance, trying to impress a young lady he would later marry. 

He told me some things that helped him change. Part of his conversion had to do with a faithful home teacher, who happened to be his Stake President. It seems the man owned quite a few cattle. Now Grandpa loved to ride horses and being up in the mountains. When his friend, who happened to be the Stake President and his Home Teacher invited him to assist with the Fall cattle round up, he was more than  happy to help. The cattle had been grazing in the upper mountain pastures over the summer, and now had to be rounded up and brought to the lower valleys for the winter.  There were a number of men working the round up. It just happened that Grandpa was assigned to ride with his friend/Home Teacher, the boss. They had been working all day, had almost all the cattle rounded up.  As evening approached they realized there was one cow missing. It would be dark soon. They had searched for a long time in vain. Finally, his friend pulled up next to him and said something like “Doug, we’ve searched everywhere we can think of, and still haven’t found that cow. We sure don’t know where it is, but the Lord does. It’s time we asked him for help.” I don’t know which of them said the prayer, but sitting there in their saddles they acknowledged their limits and asked God for help. Would he please guide them so they could find the lost cow and help them get down off the mountain before dark. Grandpa told me he just let the reins loose and let his horse go without direction. It went directly to a thicket of trees where the missing cow was standing! He knew their prayers had been answered. He started going to church after that.  Grandma laughed when she told me he came home from church in a panic shortly after returning. He told her he had been called as bishop! There was no way he could handle that...she called the Stake President and learned he was mistaken: he had been called as Ward Sunday School President, had misunderstood. She thought that was so funny how panicked he was, now so humble he didn’t think he could handle being bishop. 

Several years after Grandpa’s passing I was visiting with Grandma at her apartment in Ogden, Utah.  It was a high rise near the temple, where seniors could have as much or as little assistance as they needed. Newer, much more modern than their older home or my uncle’s home they had lived in before Grandpa died, I think she felt little guilty about living in this modern facility. As we sat there talking, she confided something in me I’ll never forget. She told me how she had started praying to die. She missed Geandpa so much, she just wanted to die so she could be with him. She had friends there, but the loneliness of being without him was overwhelming. What she told me next, she spoke most reverently. One evening while or shortly after her plea to the Lord Grandpa visited  her. She said he appeared in front of her, then went into the bedroom and bath, sort of inspecting the place. He told her he approved of it. Now she must stop asking to die in her prayers. She still had work to do, lives to touch. It was not her time yet. When it was, he promised he would come for her. Then he was gone. Oh how she wished he could stay longer. But she understood it had been a special visitation in response to her prayers. She was at peace after that, happy with her new friends and the wonderful activities made available to them in the senior community, and of course, attending the Ogden temple. 

Grandpa came to guide her through the veil on October 14, 1989.  I had taken a job in Atlanta as a flight attendant for Delta Air Lines. I don’t remember why I wasn’t able or at least didn’t think I would be able to attend her funeral. I was broke and recently divorced, struggling to make it in a new career far from what had been home until 1988. All these years later I know I could have been given time off, even emergency pass travel if I had just requested it. I regret that I didn’t.  I was too worried about making waves in my new job.  If I had it to do over again, I would have been there. She had always been a spiritual guide in my life since I was old enough to understand. In a way, the memory of her confiding the sacred visitation she had with Grandpa still serves as a guide for me. I have no doubt, when the time comes, we will have a joyful reunion on the other side of the veil.

My Testimony of the Book of Mormon

My Testimony of the Book of Mormon - Another Testament of Jesus Christ

By Kevin James Keddington

As I begin the year’s church home study course “Come Follow Me” studying the Book of Mormon I have decided to record the testimony I already have of the divinity and truthfulness of this great volume of scripture.  If I am so blessed that someone perchance should come across my record, there is no greater desire in my heart than to impart some semblance of how important this book is to me and what an impact it has had on my life.  Of all the books, fiction, non-fiction, history, instruction, or scripture the Book of Mormon is by far my favorite. 

I was born in Salt Lake City to LDS parents. As a teenager I began to question the values and teachings I had been raised with, which resulted in a departure from church activity and exploration of other philosophies, religions, and life styles. I had begun my college studies, attending Oklahoma State University in Stillwater, Oklahoma, when my best friend was killed in a private plane crash. As I grieved his loss and tried to make sense of what seemed to be such a senseless death, serious questions about the purpose of life took center stage in my mind. Were there really answers to these questions and if so, where would I find them? In this process it occurred to me that if I were to be honest and fair with myself, I needed to include a thorough investigation of the religion I was born into while searching for the truth among other beliefs. It seemed illogical to exclude it simply based on the fact that it was what I had grown up with. I decided to read the Book of Mormon cover to cover with a sincere desire to discover the truth. My question at the outset had been "Is this the product of Joseph Smith's imagination, one of the greatest frauds of our time, or is it possible that the time had come for the restoration of all things prophesied in the New Testament and Joseph Smith was telling the truth?" If the former were true, I would need to continue my search elsewhere, among other beliefs and philosophies. Throughout the entire time I was reading the Book of Mormon, I attended Sunday meetings at the local university student branch. What I experienced during this time was the kind of enlightenment which I could best describe as a series of "Aha" moments. My most profound questions regarding the purpose of life, and my life in particular became clear and I came to know the Book of Mormon to be exactly what it claimed to be...scripture, translated by the gift and power of God from the writings of ancient prophets. Scripture which enhanced my understanding and belief in Christ as the Son of God and Savior of the world, my personal Savior and Redeemer, whom I could have a real and personal relationship with. It wasn't just intellectual analysis that brought me to that conclusion, although I found nothing contrary to logic or reason.

What became the bedrock of my testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon were spiritual experiences I was having as I was reading and studying.  I had the good fortune of working as a tank truck driver for a company hauling salt water from oil wells to injection wells.  As crude oil is pumped out of the ground it almost always contains a certain amount of salt water.  At the well site there is equipment the separates the crude from the salt water diverting it into two tanks, one for the crude oil and a large tank for the salt water.  The crude oil is hauled to a refinery or a collection of larger tanks where it is pumped through pipelines to a refinery. There it is made into gas, diesel, engine oil and other petroleum products.  The salt water on the other hand is a byproduct that has little use other than to take it injection wells where it is pumped back into the ground to push the underground oil reserves toward the well where it can be pumped to the surface.  Each time I either filled my tanker or emptied it at the various well sites I had twenty to thirty minutes of down time while the salt water was being transferred either into or out of my truck’s tank.  This process happened five, six, sometimes seven or eight times a day.  That gave me anywhere from two and a half to four hours a day to do whatever I wanted.  The truck’s engine had to kept running to power the auxiliary pump which transferred the salt water back and forth. As nice as the new tank truck was it did not have air conditioning.  Summers in central Oklahoma are hot and humid.  I carried a sack lunch with me along with a jug of ice water and my copy of the Book of Mormon.  While the pump was transferring the salt water either from or into the truck’s tank I would sit in the shade of the truck’s shadow and read.  Sometimes stories or the doctrine in the scriptures I was reading had me so engrossed it was difficult to stop once my tank was filled or emptied.  But I had a schedule to keep. And I knew that I could resume reading where I left off at the next stop.  The drive between wells gave me an opportunity to ponder and pray about what I had just read.  I even read while I was eating my lunch.  The truck had an AM radio, but I don’t think I ever turned it on.

 

I had started out with this company working as a yard hand maintaining and repairing equipment used in the oil fields to lay pipe lines and repair oil wells.  After several weeks of ‘proving myself’ to the owners that I could be relied on to first of all to show up every day on time, and to complete work I was assigned without much supervision, I was given bigger jobs or assigned to assist experienced roustabouts who then taught me how to do things I hadn’t learned yet.  When the company bought a new tanker truck and asked me if I would like to be the sole driver and operator for a new business endeavor, transferring salt water for their clients, I was honored and thrilled.  As long as the salt water was transferred on schedule I was pretty much on my own, working with little or no supervision.  I was even allowed to drive the truck home at night, on days when my schedule could be improved by driving directly from home to the next job rather than starting out at the companies ‘yard.’  In hindsight it was easy to see how the Lord was blessing me, knowing that I was seeking to know the truth about Him and His works.  I remember gaining an understanding of the Plan of Happiness, how we needed a savior to receive a remission of our sins in order to be worthy to return to that God who created us.  I read about how Adam and Eve, our first parents, made the choice to undergo death, both spiritual and physical, so that mankind could be, and enter into this state of probation, to learn faith, and prove to ourselves and God that we would repent and keep his commandments, make covenants and serve Him and each other to qualify for salvation and eternal life.  When I read in Alma how we would all be resurrected, regardless of whether we were good or evil, and that not one hair of our head would be lost, and no matter what kind of infirmities we had in this life, we would be restored to a perfect and immortal body, I felt the warm confirmation of the Spirit that I was learning the truth.  I felt that so many times, like learning about the need for opposites, opposition in all things, or how good people can experience terrible, unjust things in this life because God gives agency to all men, and will more than make up for those injustices in the eternities, because he is both a just and merciful God.  I came to understand the relationship between justice and mercy, how mercy cannot rob justice, but can save us from our mistakes and transgressions if we repent, because Jesus Christ paid the price required by justice for those who believe on Him and make sacred covenants, keeping His commandments to the best of their ability, learning and growing spiritually to have power to overcome mortal weaknesses.  My heart was filled, I felt as if intelligence and light were poured into me from heaven.  I knew what I was reading was true. I knew it in my heart and my mind.  It made sense. It felt right.  I’ll never forget reading the footnotes to verse 16 in 2 Nephi chapter 12.

 

“16 And upon all the ships of the ^asea, and upon all the ships of Tarshish, and upon all pleasant pictures.”

Here is the footnote:  The Greek (Septuagint) has “ships of the sea.” The Hebrew has “ships of Tarshish.” The Book of Mormon has both, showing that the brass plates had lost neither phrase.

The brass plates obtained by Nephi from Laban had the records of the first five books of Moses, books of prophecy from other Hebrew prophets up to Zedekia and Jeremiah, including most importantly Isaiah.  I knew the original texts used for the King James Bible were Hebrew, Greek, and Latin, the Old Testament in Hebrew and Greek.  These scriptures were handed down for many, many generations, copied by hand until the age of Renaissance and Gutenberg’s invention of the printing press.  It’s not hard to find some simple errors, especially in the Old Testament, mathematical and otherwise. I don’t read Hebrew, or Greek. Here is documented that between the two translations into English for the King James Bible, there are three elements in verse 16. Two of the three appear in the Hebrew, and two of the three in the Greek translation, with only one of the three being common to both of those translations. Yet all three appear in 2 Nephi, which Mormon abridged from the brass plates.  The brass plates had not been copied over and over and translated, had not lost plain and precious truths, or even simple little details like one of three elements Isaiah used to describe a circumstance of his time.  Here they were, all three in the Second Book of Nephi.  Joseph was translating at a rate of seven to nine pages as they appear in our current version of the Book of Mormon.  No one can tell me credibly that Joseph Smith, a relatively uneducated farmer who had difficulty with spelling correctly, who stopped in the middle of translating a page to remark to his wife, Lucy, that he never knew there was a wall around Jerusalem, which she politely confirmed there to be, I can not imagine that Joseph had access to or a working knowledge of Greek and Hebrew translations of the Bible let alone an awareness of the discrepancy between those translations in Isaiah chapter 2.  Over the years I have become aware of a few things appearing in the Book of Mormon that seemed contrary to common knowledge in 1830, but have since been proven true.  Evidences, even compelling ones like that found in Second Nephi still aren’t convincing on their own merit that this is holy writ, translated by the gift and power of God.  They serve to bolster my faith and strengthen my testimony, and for that I am grateful. Most importantly, my faith in the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon comes from reading it, feeling the Spirit of the Holy Ghost confirm the doctrines taught over and over again.  Over the years I have read the Book of Mormon numerous times. To be honest, I wouldn’t attempt to claim a number of times as I have lost count.  Each time I read it, I am amazed to find new understanding of doctrines, new perspectives on the teachings which I have previously read and yet, it is almost like I’m reading some of them for the first time.  I can’t read those pages without feeling somehow uplifted, enlightened, or inspired.

Upon completion of that reading during the summer of 1978, I determined to put Moroni’s promise to the test.  Since I was a little boy in Primary I remembered being taught this powerful promise (Moroni 10:3-5):

“3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how ^amerciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ^bponder it in your ^chearts.

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ^aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not ^btrue; and if ye shall ask with a ^csincere heart, with ^dreal intent, having ^efaith in Christ, he will ^fmanifest the ^gtruth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may ^aknow the ^btruth of all things.”

I had read the Book of Mormon from cover to cover thanks to having a job which not only made it easy, but ensured time to reflect on what I was reading.  So, I went to my bedroom and knelt down to pray.  I was definitely expecting either a total blank spiritual silence indicating I had been fooling myself, or some kind of marvelous manifestation, an epiphany like witness.  Angels had appeared to others, could they not appear to me as well? Or appear and tell me I had been misled and needed to seek truth elsewhere…well I knelt there praying, listening, and felt the Spirit whisper clearly “You don’t need angels, or a marching band to come crashing through the wall, or a pillar of light and heavenly music. You don’t need anything like that because you already know.  Remember how you felt reading in Second Nephi? Alma? Remember how you felt reading about the Savior’s appearance to the Nephites after his resurrection and ascension? Remember how you felt when you read the words Jesus spoke to the Nephites about other sheep whom He had not manifested Himself to, but would, and there would be one fold, and one shepherd? Remember the burning in your heart, the tears streaming down your cheeks as you read Third Nephi chapter 17, when Jesus blessed the little children, and angels came down and ministered to them?” I remembered how comforted I felt reading Ether 12:27:

“27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their ^aweakness. I ^bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my ^cgrace is sufficient for all men that ^dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make ^eweak things become strong unto them.”

Suffice it to say I came to know the Book of Mormon to be true, and it's author and translator, Joseph Smith, to be who and what he claimed to be, a modern day prophet called to be a tool in the hands of God to restore the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and His church in preparation for His prophesied return.

Since those early days in a salt water tanker and a humble single wide mobile home in Stillwater, Oklahoma, my testimony of the existence of God, whom I know to be my literal spiritual Father and Creator, and His Son, Jesus Christ, my Savior and Redeemer, Friend and Advocate with the Father, has grown exponentially.  The expression “Faith precedes the Miracle” has proven true on my life too many times to count.  At times like this, I wish I had done a better job of documenting those personal miracles.  Many are recorded in my missionary journals, and many which have happened since my mission are recorded only in my memory and I am quite sure in some books kept by angels in heaven.  I know, as surely as I know the sun will come up in the morning, that God lives and loves us all, with a love that is so great, so wonderful, so deep and so tender it is difficult to comprehend, and His Son, Jesus Christ loves us the same, if it were possible, even more deeply, as He paid the awful price for our redemption personally.  I love Him. I love them both. You cannot love the one without loving the other.  The knowledge and understanding of my purpose for being here, of the great Plan of Happiness and my part in it is more precious to me than anything this world has to offer.  Knowing that this life is a small part of a greater plan, and what I need to do to have happiness and joy here, in this life, as well as in the eternities in the life to come is a gift so sweet and precious it is nearly beyond comprehension.

Why would God speak to prophets anciently to offer guidance, send angels to proclaim His gospel, the coming forth of His Son, our Redeemer and Savior, reveal His commandments, and give us sacred covenants, and then leave us hanging in the dark at a time when the world is more wicked than ever?  They foretold a restoration of all things prior to His Second Coming.  I know that restoration took place.  I know the priesthood which He bestowed on His apostles anciently was restored in our time, to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery.  I have been ordained to that same priesthood and exercised it in the service of others.  The sick have been healed miraculously in my life under the hands of myself and other priesthood holders. 

It is important to know that while I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect and teaches us all things we need to do and know to receive salvation and exaltation; I am far from perfect.  There are periods in my life I wish I could erase or do over.  I have repented sorely for terrible things which I don’t need to enumerate here, as it would serve no purpose.  I wish I had been more obedient, led a more exemplary life, had not strayed from the path when I did.  Experience has taught me there was only misery in seeking worldly pleasures, being rebellious, and disobedient.  It has been a process putting the natural desires I was born with aside and schooling my desires. That process continues today.  I have made great progress, due most certainly to exercising faith in Jesus Christ, in His gospel, in His prophetically chosen leaders, choosing to do more right than wrong, repenting daily in an effort to become more like Him.  Because I love Him.  And while I can never repay Him for what He did for me, I can show my gratitude by keeping His commandments to the best of my ability.  I do not have to be perfect to know He loves me perfectly, and He loved me first.  Yes He has shown me my weaknesses, and helped me overcome many of them as I was willing to humble myself and subject my will to His.  And yes, I have a long way to go.  One thing is certain, and that is that I am on the right path.  If you are not already on this path, I invite you to join me.  Bring what you already know and add to it.  Come test the things I claim for yourself and find out what you don’t already know.  And share what you do know so we can both be uplifted and edified.  I bear my solemn witness that God lives and so does His Son, Jesus Christ.  They have restored the true church with apostles and prophets just like it existed in the meridian of time.  Priesthood keys and authority have been restored in our time, the dispensation of the fullness of times.  All things have been restored just as prophesied by ancient prophets.  Sacred covenants established before the creation of the world are available to us today in Holy Temples, where worthy and righteous men and women go and serve and teach and learn.  God speaks to us today through living prophets and apostles.  Joseph Smith was the first prophet of the restoration.  Since his time when the restoration began, there has always been a living prophet on earth as there is today.  His name is Russel M. Nelson.  God has promised that the gospel in it’s fullness will never again be taken from the earth, that we live in a time of preparation for the Second Coming of His Son, Jesus Christ.  I don’t know if that will happen in my lifetime.  Whether it does or not what is most important is whether or not I have done all I could to be prepared to meet Him, whether here or on the other side of the veil. 

What a marvelous gift He has given us, given me.  To have my sins remitted! To be cleansed from all those poor choices! It is not enough to have ceased to do wrong, not enough to regret having made mistakes and foolish choices.  No degree of remorse or attempt to repay the wrong somehow could make me whole.  Only His redeeming love, the gift of the Atonement can do that.  Oh how I love Him!  He has done for me what I could never do…cleansed me from sins of commission and omission, extending mercy and love because of my faith in Him, and my desire to serve and obey Him.  He knows me. Knows me better than I do. And He loves me.  In ways I can’t entirely comprehend, I know He loves me and wants only what is best for me.  I am grateful beyond my ability to express in words that He lives, He offers His love and grace to all, and suffered unimaginable pain and anguish for us all, for me.  Russel M. Nelson is His chosen prophet today.  He chose Joseph Smith when he was just a boy of 14 to be His servant, the prophet of the restoration.  He brought forth the Book of Mormon, Another Witness of Jesus Christ to testify of Him. I bear solemn witness to the truthfulness of these things in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, Amen.